Not such a good idea
by purplepagoda
Summary: Paris and Rory go to New York City for New Year's Eve. Rory meets an old schoolmate and everything explodes the next day back at the dorm.
1. The stupid things

December 31 2004 New York City:

"Paris tell me again why we're going to spend New Year's here?"

"So we can meet people."

"You made me drive for an hour and a half hours and you don't have a plan?"

"Well you made me get in the car and pick a place to go."

"I'll give you that but why did you pick New York City on New Year's Eve?"

"It's closer than Las Vegas."

"Ok. So what do you want to do?"

"Let's go to a club."

"Ok."

The club:

Paris goes and sits in a corner while Rory tries to find anyone she knows.

"Hey Mary!" Says a voice from behind her. Rory cautiously turns around to see who is behind her.

"Tristan! I never thought I would say this but I'm glad to see you."

"What are you doing here?"

"In New York or at this club?"

"Both."

"I kidnapped Paris and told her to pick a place to go. That's how we got to New York and then she said we should go to a club so that's how we ended up here."

"So do you want me to buy you a drink?"

"Are you 21?"

"Yeah."

"Ok."

10 o'clock (an hour later):

Tristan and Rory are both drunk and decide to leave. Rory gives Paris the keys and tells her to go back without her.

On the street outside of the club:

"Rory."

"Yeah."

"I know we're drunk and in New York so let's go to City Hall and get married."

"It's 10 o'clock city hall is closed."

"No they close late on New Year's eve."

"Ok." Tristan flags down a cab and heads to city hall. 2 ½ hours later Rory arrives back to her dorm with Tristan. She makes sure Paris is in her own room and there takes Tristan in her room with her.

4 o'clock Tristan quietly leaves Rory's room but is stopped by a very drunk Paris on her way to the bathroom.

"Tristan! What are you doing here?"

"Um… I came to see you." Tristan lies because unlike Paris and Rory he is not drunk.

"Oh." Paris says as she pulls him into her room.

The next day Paris and Rory wake up at noon with major headaches. Rory and Paris both leave their rooms at the same time landing on the couch.

"My head hurts."

"No so loud."

"Sorry."

"So Rory how did you get home last night?"

"Um… hold on let me think." Rory looks down at her left ring finger.

"Oh man I thought I was having a really bad dream. Did we go to New York last night?"

"I think so."

"We have major hangovers." Just then there is a knock on the door, but neither of the girls feels like answering the door so they just yell 'Come in.' Lorelai opens the door and sees Rory and Paris lying on the couch. She goes over and sits down in between them.

"What did you two do last night?"

"Not so loud."

"Here." Lorelai hands the girls both a cup of coffee.

"Both of you sit up."

"Ok." Rory says.

"Where did you two go last night?"

"As far as we can remember we went to New York City."

"Ok. And did what?"

"Went to a club."

"Did this club serve alcohol?"

"Yeah, all different colors." Rory says in a drunken state.

"Did you two drink any of this colorful alcohol?"

"Um… yeah." Rory says.

"How much?"

"I don't know."

"Let me guess people bought you drinks and you thought they were non-alcoholic right?"

"Yeah."

"You two got drunk last night."

"You could say that." Paris says.

"You two are so smart why on earth did you drink alcohol?"

"Cause."

"Who drove?"

"I took a cab."

"Paris what about you?"

"I had someone drive the car home."

"Ok. Drink the coffee and then Paris go take a shower. Rory then you are going to take a shower. You are both going to get dressed and come back out here."

"Ok." Paris goes to the bathroom, Rory stays on the couch and Lorelai stands up and calls Luke.

"Hello?"

"Luke. Can you do me a favor?"

"Do you know anything that takes care of hangovers?"

"I've never had one but you could try tomato juice."

"Ok thanks."

"Do you have a hangover?"

"No. Rory and Paris have hangovers."

"Oh."

"Thanks bye."

Lorelai hangs up her phone and looks in the fridge. She sees one can of tomato juice.

20 Minutes later both girls are showered and dressed and back on the couch.

Lorelai walks over to them and hands them each a glass of tomato juice.

"What is this?"

"Drink it."

"Ok." Both girls down the tomato juice make a funny face and then sit up.

"Rory look at your watch and tell me what time it is."

"12:45." Lorelai looks down at Rory's watch.

"Good. Now Paris tell me what day and year it is."

"It's January 1st 2005."

"Good now that you're both back to planet earth I want to talk to you."

"Ok."

"Rory tell me everything you remember."

"First we went to a club and then I saw Tristan and he bought me some kind of drink and then I was really drunk and we took a cab somewhere."

"Where?"

"Um." Rory looks at her left ring finger.

"Hold on mom I need to go get something off of my dresser."

"Ok." Rory goes in her room and finds a note and a marriage certificate.

"Rory what are those?"

"Crap, I thought it was a really bad nightmare."

"What?"

"I went to city hall with Tristan."

"And did what?"

"Got married."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Rory says as she takes the ring off her finger and hands it to Lorelai along with the marriage certificate.

"So you got married to Tristan?"

"Yeah."

"And where is he now?"

"He came here last night and then…"

"Then what?"

"OMG I slept with Tristan."

"Rory are you sure?"

"Why Paris?"

"Tristan was here last night?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I came out in the middle of the night and saw him leaving and…"

"And what?"

"I slept with him too."

"This is special." Rory says.

Rory opens the note from Tristan.

"Do you want me to read it out loud?"

"Rory if you don't I'm going to kill the kid."

"Ok it says

Dear Rory,

I realize we're married and I want to work things out. I'll call you as soon as I can.

Tristan."

"What kind of note is that?"

"I don't know."

"Rory."

"Yeah Mom."

"Do you know where Tristan lives?"

"No."

A/N:

Just a few hints for the next chapter.

So the search for Tristan begins but in the following chapter something happens that intensifies the search. Will Lorelai kill Tristan when she finds him? Will she find him?

What will happen to Rory and Paris?


	2. Uhohs

The dorm February 12th 10 A.M.

Rory walks over to the bathroom door and beats on it.

"Paris! I need in there right now."

"Ok." Paris says as she flings the door open.

"I'm just brushing my teeth." Says Paris who has on a t-shirt and a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and has her hair up loosely in a ponytail.

"Ok." Rory says as she rushes to the toilet.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine."

"I've been sick too it must have been the Chinese food we ate the other night."

"Paris what is today?"

"Saturday."

"No I mean the date."

"It's the … 11th." Paris says as she looks down at her watch.

"The 11th?"

"Yeah."

"Great."

"I just said the 11th didn't I?"

"Yeah."

"Crap."

"Ok tell me what your crap is for because it can't be as bad as mine."

"Yes it can." Paris says as she makes a run for the toilet barely making it there on time.

"No it can't." Rory says with a mouthful of toothpaste.

"I'll tell you if you tell me."

"Fine. I am late."

"I am too."

"Oh great that trip to New York has really backfired on us."

"We shouldn't have been so stupid."

"You're not the one that wound up married to a cheater that could be in Timbuktu."

"No but it looks as if it turned out the same way."

"Yeah. Do you want to go to the drugstore or do you want me to go?"

"I've been in the bathroom since 9 o'clock."

"Ok I'll go."

½ an hour later Rory returns.

"Paris where are you?"

"In the bathroom."

"Still?"

"I just got out of the shower."

"Oh. Are you dressed?"

"Yeah."

"Ok I'm coming in."

"Ok."

Rory enters the bathroom with a paper bag. She sits the bag on the vanity.

"So do you want to do rock, paper, scissors to figure out who gets to be doomed first?"

"No, I'll go first."

"Ok."  
Rory leaves and Paris shuts the door for a second and then opens it again.

"Ok done."

"That wasn't two minutes."

"I know. Go pee on yours and then we can wait together."

"Ok."

Moments later Rory opens the bathroom door Paris goes in and grabs a box and joins Rory who is sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

"Rory what do we do if the tests come out positive."

"I don't know. That was my question. Oh and if they do how are we going to find Tristan?"

"We are in deep shit if these tests are positive."

"Yeah we are."

"Rory I really don't want this to positive." Paris says as she reads the back of the box and then looks at the box.

"It's been over 2 ½ minutes."

"What color will lead to our demise?"

"Pink." Paris says.

"Ready?"

"Not really." Paris says as she and Rory get up and go over to the vanity.

"Which one is yours?"

"The one on the left."

"Ok." Rory and Paris look at the vanity at the same time.

" It doesn't matter because they're both the same color. Pink."

"Paris please tell me I'm hallucinating."

"I don't think I can."

"Paris we're pregnant. Both of us. With Rosemary's babies."

"What do we do?"

"Well all I can think of right now is to eat ice cream and watch really old movies."

"Works for me."

"Put those somewhere in case someone comes over."

"Ok." Paris says as she shoves them in the medicine cabinet.

2 hours later Rory and Paris are on the couch covered in blankets eating every junk food known to man and watching T.V. when there is a knock on the door.

"Come in." They holler in unison.

"What on earth are you two doing?" Lorelai asks as she enters the dorm.

"Getting fat." Rory says. Paris looks at her and grins. They burst out laughing.

"What did I miss?"

"Nothing."

"I brought coffee."

"We're good."

"Ok. So why didn't you invite me to your little party?"

"We didn't think to."

"Oh. Where's your aspirin? I had to listen to Kirk's yapping for ½ an hour."

Both Paris and Rory being riveted to the T.V. they reply "In the medicine cabinet." Like zombies before realizing what was in there.

"Good." Paris and Rory look at each other in horror and rush to the bathroom but it's too late Lorelai has discovered their secret.

"Ladies what are these?" Lorelai asks as she pulls out the pregnancy tests.

"Uh."

Lorelai pushes them into the living room and makes them sit on the couch.

"Girls what are these? Please tell me they are completely edible."

"Not exactly."

"Ok tell me what's going on."

Rory and Paris look at each other in terror staring at each other for a moment signaling to each they were trapped they had to tell her.

"Rory, Paris you are two extremely smart girls with a lot going for you please tell me that these belong to neither of you."

"We would like to but we can't."

"I don't have the box to these but I'm betting by the way you two are throwing a pity party that both of them are positive."

"Yeah."

"My next question is for each of you individually. Who is the father?"

Rory and Paris look at each other and then Paris says:

"The baby is the seed of the devil."

"Yeah we're each going to have Rosemary's baby."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Sorry."

"Mom I am going to give birth to my husband's child."

"Yes I am also having her husband's child."

"So you two are having babies that are Tristan's?"

"Yes."

"Did you guys figure out where he is?"

"He's not staying in New York City."

"So you have no clue?"

"Nope not a single clue."

"We're going to find him and then we're going to kill him."

"Mom!"

"I think it's a good idea."

"Mom!"

"Ok, maybe not but we still have to find him. For the sake of his children."

"I don't want him to have anything to do with any child I have Rosemary's baby or not."

"Me either."

"Girls I know you really hate Tristan right now but do you want to tell your children that when you first found out you were pregnant for them you considered them Rosemary's baby the child of the devil?"

"I guess that's probably not a good idea."

"Right."

"Now we're getting somewhere. So how long have you two known?"

"Two hours."

Lorelai looks at the wrappers and empty containers.

"You guys managed to shove all of that into you in two hours?"

"Yeah and a whole pizza."

"I must warn you that stuff tastes a lot worse coming up than it did going down."

"But we're fine we've been puke free for the last 2 hours."

"Not for long trust me." With that Rory and Paris both flee to the bathroom hitting the toilet at the same time. They brush their teeth and go back out.

"Now do guys see what I mean?"

"That was horrible."

"It was so gross I will never eat that much ever again."

"I can't handle this for very long."

"You girls are strong you'll pull through."

"I hope so."


End file.
